Self motivation, articles and advice

So, you are ambitious, energetic and determined to succeed? Are you motivated? Dr. Robert Montgomery will tell you that motivation does not exist. That emotion and thinking govern what he calls "self-efficacy" which he defines as closest to motivation. Events and people have motivational influences which stimulate our reactions. If attracted by these influences our emotions react favourably and this is the catalyst that Dr. Montgomery says creates "the self-efficacy in your belief in your ability to carry out a specific task to achieve a specific goal". Self-efficacy is a belief; it is an attitude of yourself and an idea of a belief in your capacities. Attitude is the critical factor in motivational success.

All positive planning begins with liking yourself. If you respect yourself and others they will respect you. The long road to success must start with self-esteem and the respect of fellow travellers.

Following this concept means that if you believe that you are able to achieve specific goals you are more likely to achieve them. Contrarily, if you lack that faith in being able to achieve those goals then you are not likely to succeed. In other words it represents your own confidence level in your ability of success in a specific goal. So, this "self-efficacy", what most regard as motivation, will be the factor that will determine how hard you push your idea and the level of persistence you apply to succeed. Anything that enables you to strengthen this commitment to achieve a goal will eventually contribute to the level of success. Even small failures can compound negative emotions, so you must start by aiming for smaller goals. Nothing succeeds like success. It's easier and less costly to learn from other people's mistakes than to re-invent the wheel. So, imitation should be regarded as an excellent investment until you can improve upon it.

Achievement is about reaching goals. Setting goals is the marksman's example of aiming for a bullseye. If the sharpshooters aiming point is not precise the bullet can not penetrate the bulls eye. This analogy is precisely why a goal can only be achieved by the discipline of setting a goal then implementing the action that will achieve that goal. To be motivated you must set a goal in order to be able to reach that goal and build your self-esteem. Most problems are experienced by people who lack the ability to set their own achievable goals, in many cases due to the lack of self belief and esteem.

When they fail to achieve what they imagined they were working toward due to lack of a clear vision of what they desire, they believe they have failed. This failure is caused by a lack of clear motivation as there are no clear goals. A clear goal enables an energetic drive to problem solving and overcoming obstacles. The degree of focus on the goal is directly proportional to the likelihood of success.

Dreams are important but they remain dreams until action restructures them into realizable goals. The focus on attainable goals is important. Failure to achieve once again raises the danger of lack of faith to achieve a further goal. These goals should also reflect your own set of values and not clash with your own ethics or moral beliefs. You must do this to maintain the focus of your motivation to succeed.

Setting of goals is like a football game. Once you have scored that goal the game has not ended. You must constantly assess the state of play and plan toward the next goal because the game of life only ends when life ends. When setting any goal, think not of the road to the goal but the action desired when achieving that goal. What will be the situation when you have achieved that goal and what you consider as the reward for achieving that goal and what it might have cost you to get there?

Lack of confidence in self leads to the lack of being able to live successfully. If you lack the ability to love yourself, how can you really love others? If you are well motivated you have the ability to succeed to the level of your own aspirations. One of the great problems in modern society is the implanted idea that to succeed you must beat someone else at the game. Obviously, in sport you must win to win. However, the game of life is different. Everyone has a level of achievement that is specific to their own level of ability and competence. No one has to be beaten to achieve that level. The individual merely aims to arrive at the level chosen without the necessity to trample over others rights to be successful. Success is not about beating others but is about beating yourself and reaching out a little further than the last time and achieving realistic planned goals. It's not about greed and how much you win when you get there but more about the journey of how you got there. It's also about your integrity and your ethics and how you will be judged by your fellow travellers. Its not only about you getting there but about what you might have done for others along the way and the legacy you might have left behind that enabled others to see what you have done as a model to follow.

Part of the game of life is competition. In order not to destroy your health and also to live a balanced and productive life, not only for yourself but for family, is to be able to maintain a realistic balance in facing challenges. The driven type A behaviour pattern of constant competition in conflict with others is always trying to prove self worth in the eyes of others; the constant need to shove others down in order to demonstrate superiority. A need to direct and lead everything, a control freak and not able to accept that others might have better ideas. An aggressive dominating personality is associated in this type of mind with winning and has a constant need to win at everything to prove self worth. In fact this is a personality defect and lack of self-confidence so the personality is constantly in need of affirmation to show others what they assume as success. This type never achieves any inner peace as they will inevitably and regularly run up against others better than them. They are in constant and never ending friction trying to prove self-worth due to their own lack of self-confidence. Every time this happens they consider that they have failed because someone else is better. So they remain trapped by their own attitude to winning by constantly comparing themselves to others - in constant conflict with themselves.

Studies into competitive and co-operative attitudes show that co-operative methods always work better to everyone's benefit. It has been scientifically proven that these co-operative methods used in all spheres promote better development and thinking than the individual approach. Inter-personal relationships use the abilities of the group to the benefit of each individual. Once an objective and a goal are set then the power of the group driven by the single mindedness of an individual can be awesome. The criterion for individual success means you must march to the sound of your own drums. The accent for realistic goals has been accented. You have succeeded when you have achieved these goals regardless if others have achieved far greater goals. Your measure of success should not focus on others but on the attainment of your own goals.

Self esteem is critical to an individual for success in life. Your thoughts, your words and your actions will demonstrate your view of yourself-your self-esteem. Your satisfaction is to achieve whatever you have set as your immediate goal. And to go on reaching each new goal set by yourself. Your peace of mind will be reached when you are able to live a balanced life with time for business, family and friends. The single minded achiever will be so focused on a single goal that they often neglect everything else in life. The balanced achiever will be able to compete successfully at work tasks, maintain good relations with associates and friends, lead a happy and stress free home life and achieve goals set in all spheres. A "feeling" of achievement because that is what it is, is the sense of having achieved a goal set and completed a job to the standard set by your own yardstick. Some pressure in all these activities might create stress which is a stimulant in most cases. Like the leopard in pursuit of the prey, pressure is a stimulant to run faster. When the predator comes too close though this becomes the stress of survival! In order to manage stress, set balanced goals for all facets of your life, including family, health and recreation and then implement a plan to manage them. If you are not able to set these goals realistically, your timetable of life will overpower you. By now it is obvious that goal setting both short term and long term will be a critical factor in achievement at all levels in life.

It is appropriate to deal with those skills that are vital for success in all fields of endeavour. Conflict resolution and communication specifically are the keys to the ultimate achievement of all goals as most of the problems in any activity in life are driven by people. Lack of communication or an inability to communicate goals in the workplace are the greatest impediment to success and creator of conflict.

Interpersonal skills are the least taught of all educational commodities in the formal education system yet the most in demand in the workplace. The skills of winning are thrust down our throats from childhood but the skills of successful co-operation are not normally taught as a subject. Winning and losing are associated with emotions of elation, disappointment and anger. In spite of the fact that all human relationships are conducted through some sort of communication, this is the least formally studied sector in management but probably has the greatest effect on the bottomline. Most failures in formal employment are due to the inability of successful interpersonal communication and the inability to relate well to others. A great deal of talking and instruction is given without a clear line of communication being established. This is another form of not establishing transparent goals that all are able to interpret and understand.

Communication is probably the lynchpin to the successful achievement of goals within any organization. If the road to travel to reach the goal is not well sign-posted, then the ability of those that follow that road not knowing what to expect, are likely to fall by the wayside when they encounter the inevitable problems. In defining the goals the leader must lead from the front and demonstrate his commitment to achieve those goals by focusing not only himself but the organization on the end goal.

The importance of trust in each other, faith in the task and a font of goodwill so that each person will be supported when they make mistakes, is essential. At this point I might quote Ralp Waldo Emerson and take the liberty of adapting his famous proverb to this application: " The glory of friendship is not the outstretched hand, nor the kindly smile nor the joy of campanionship. It is the spiritual inspiration that comes when one discovers that someone else believes in them and is willing to trust them."

The ability to share your emotions without anger of recrimination, not to be judgemental with others or to make character allusions. Not to lecture or moralize, order or threaten your associates or blame others when things go wrong. All these call for tact and diplomacy which might at times be difficult to mobilize. Communication is not only about telling but about listening. Our greatest failing as people is that we might hear a great deal but are we listening? If you are really listening you might be able to not only interpret but understand what is being said. This is a skill that you must actively concentrate on to be successful. The result in hearing what is being said and being able to judge the merits of the suggestion can produce spectacular results when your associates realize that you are listening. If you are able to show associates that you are paying attention to their inputs you gain added respect and support in your own suggestions. These interpersonal skills such as body language, keeping eye contact and listening and not interrupting the conversation are skills to be mastered in themselves. Never bring up past failures as an excuse to cancel present suggestions.

Never be afraid as a manager or senior person to accept criticism or encourage lower level staff to contribute their own feelings or ideas even if it leads to reasonable but strong verbal discussion. This encourages those with less confidence within an organization to express their opinions and build their own self-esteem and confidence in discussion with senior people, enabling them to tackle a job with more confidence. If they are allowed the latitude of disagreeing and justifying their stance before a peer group it has a wonderful effect of making them cautious in their opinions. At this stage they are able to learn about controlling emotions and the dynamics of the give and take of conflict resolution.

The final skill that we consider is that of assertion within a negotiating or problem solving situation. The assertive presenter expresses openly the advantages and disadvantages of any situation making firm suggestions and requests, considering the position, rights and feelings of others concerned. Being assertive will convince people if your style is clear and concise and your arguments logical. It is vital that self esteem is carried on the sleeve of the presenter as majority support will come from a visually powerful presentation platform. Any aggression will be met with resistance and weak presentations will be challenged by those who lack self confidence and are character bullies. Encourage your juniors to be positively assertive as well if they are convinced of their opinions and allow them the latitude of proving themselves wrong or right. This has a remarkable effect on any future opinions.

Honesty in an assertive approach rather than a timid or an aggressive presentation will always lead to a successful reception even if modifications are called for. If this is combined with asking for comment and reaction it has the effect of making the audience part of the solution. Listen to what responding comment is offered. Consider the respondents circumstances and your own position. Be flexible but stick to your primary and basic beliefs and requirements. Negotiate and debate the points of agreement through focus on mediating the points of disagreement. Let everyone speak up with no fear of ridicule. Listen to requests and debate alternatives. Finally refuse unacceptable requests and then list the fully acceptable alternatives. Bring the group to order and make a decision.

The leader of any organization whether it be small or large is effectively the captain of the ship. Whether it be your own life or the future of your family, you have the responsibility to ensure that you succeed so that those around you are able to benefit from what life has given us all-the gift within our own hands to make of it what we will.