Handling pain and disappointment, advice

Disappointment can be compared to the little girl who was asked what a string bag was and she answered, "A lot of holes joined together with string." We can use the analogy that disappointment is a lot of disappointment joined together with some successes or we can say that success is a lot of success joined together with some disappointments!

Like happiness, disappointment exists in many forms and at many levels in the minds of the beholders. The difference is between those who view disappointments as failures and those people who regard them as learning steps on the way to success. One is used negatively as an excuse for failure while the other philosophy considers the disappointment as a positive lesson to learn from. The one attitude stands still and becomes part of the problem while the other attitude runs with the problem and makes it part of the solution by learning from the mistake.

Once again we can assume that therefore disappointment is a perception of a state of mind and not an absolute. One says, "I have a problem" and the other says, "I might have a solution." Once again we look to our society for creating the social stigma that connects any disappointment with failure. We are weaned on the attitude that we must only be winners and that losing is bad. The nation is in mourning and a bad mood if the national football team loses. Long term thinkers and winners never lose. They merely dust themselves off, learn not to allow that to happen again and look for the next opportunity.

The worst effect of disappointment repeated is that it results in the loss of self-confidence and even self-esteem. This can start that negative cycle of introspection creating an inability to act in making decisions. It's easy to act on discipline, enthusiasm, passion, goals, motivation and self-esteem relative to what happens when disappointments strike. Disappointment is probably the most difficult of all the emotions to handle as mistakes are so visible to see. People rarely give praise for nine good deeds done but rather to criticize the one lapse from grace.

Determination and an ability to act after the mistakes is essential. If you cannot leave the past mistakes behind you will be paralyzed. You will live in regret of the past instead of hope for the future. No one can help you with failure if you do not desire with all your heart and passionately want to escape from the confines of losing thinking.

Like the alcoholic, you must make the decision to escape from the prison of your affliction before others can help you. You must make up your mind that failure is only a perception of the mind and varies in the mind of the beholder. Start right now to think positively, learn from your failures and use the experience and wisdom gained along the way to pave your road to success.